


I Promise

by wooahae



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, I'm sorry for this, M/M, Recovery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-16 10:07:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29205579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wooahae/pseuds/wooahae
Summary: TW// DEATHVernon loses someone very important to him.
Relationships: Boo Seungkwan/Chwe Hansol | Vernon
Comments: 3
Kudos: 12





	I Promise

Vernon dreamt. 

They were happy dreams, mostly, of his mother, his father, Sofia. Once on a beach, sun shining through his sister’s hair as she leaned over him on the sand, getting sand into his squinting eyes. Silhouettes of their parents walking along the length of the beach, smiling as Vernon splashed Sofia only to block her retaliation much to the younger’s frustration. Warm tea from a stall after the sun set over the horizon, bringing about a not very unpleasant chill in the air.

They were in New York. His parents showed Sofia and him around their college, their reminiscence of their accommodations back then that Vernon would rather not have been present for and the places they used to frequent. Meeting up with a couple of their college friends afterwards, Vernon remembered Sofia feeling shy around the stylish, and very obviously expensive apartment. Vernon had no such reservations as such, choosing to instead focus on how comfortable the sofa was and how good the juice tasted, answering questions periodically. As Sofia shifted uneasily beside him, he put a hand on her elbow before turning to answer another question. He missed the grateful look Sofia shot him but was aware of her relaxing slightly next to him.

Vernon was at a wedding reception. He was in a suit, waiting nervously at the end of the aisle as his parents and sister waited on the first row. He was getting married. Whatever consciousness still left of Vernon was left breathless by the radiant male walking down the aisle in front of him. Towards him. He was faintly aware of people starting to smile and pull out tissues but all his attention remained on the blushing man now standing in front of dream Vernon. Seungkwan, he realized with a jolt. His Seungkwan. Standing there in front of dream Vernon, conscious Vernon drank in the sight of Seungkwan’s dark hair, contrasting his glowing skin, the blush on his cheeks as he realized Vernon was staring at him. Most importantly, Vernon loved how happy the other looked and made Vernon feel. Seungkwan was beautiful and he willed this moment to be imprinted in his memory forever. Their eyes met.

“I now declare you husband and husband.”

The two embraced on the altar. Seungkwan drew Vernon’s head down, their foreheads touching, not caring they were practically in front of their whole family and all their friends.

“Forever?”

Vernon took a moment to look his beautiful husband right in the eye before closing the distance between them.

“Promise,” he breathed as the whole room burst into applause, cheers and hoots (most likely from their friends, Vernon couldn’t help but feel full to the brim with happiness).

And even amongst the din, it felt like they were only two that mattered in the world. To each, the other.

There had never been a more beautiful moment in Vernon’s life.

Vernon woke.

He woke with a jolt, faintly registering the beeping machinery in the background as they responded to the spike in his heart rate. He flailed for a moment before the faint sound of people rushing in registered in his brain. There were beeps and people holding him down before Vernon felt a faint sting in his arm. He sank back into the embrace of darkness..

There was someone else in the room.

This time Vernon regained consciousness slowly, coming to as though he’d woken from a long relaxing nap. The spots in his vision slowly clearly, his eyes opened to a stark white ceiling and the sound of fingers tapping away at a keyboard. He lay there for a bit, staring at the ceiling and listening to the constant tap-tap-tap of the person typing, gathering his thoughts. Turning his head, he noticed the machines beside his bed. Curiosity took over as he pushed himself up by his forearms to see who was behind the tapping sound.

Looking around, his eyes immediately fell on one of the only two chairs in the room. They were up against the wall to the right of his bed, just below a large uncovered window, giving him a small glimpse of the outside world. A bespectacled man sat there, his eyes hidden by the lenses of his glasses reflecting the light from the laptop on his lap. As if sensing that the other occupant was awake, he looked up and met Vernon’s eyes. Vernon held his gaze, unsteadily as a flurry of emotions seemed to pass through the man’s eyes as he examined Vernon. Heaving a sigh of relief, the man slumped back in his chair, in relief, Vernon realized, not even having noticed how tense the man’s earlier posture was.

“Wonwoo.”

His voice came out in a whisper, raspy from disuse. The man looked up and his eyes widened.

“Water,” Vernon croaked, as much as his throat allowed. Wonwoo nodded and crossed the room quickly. Vernon frowned as he seemed to speak to someone outside the room and come back inside. 

“Hey, Mingyu’s gone to get you some water right now.” Vernon could only nod in understanding before closing his eyes, laying his head back on his pillow, temporarily exhausted. He knew Wonwoo was moving about the room and he let his attention fixate on the sound of his footsteps and the rustle of fabric.

He felt a hand slip inside his own and squinted. Wonwoo had pulled up his chair beside the bed on Vernon’s left, looking concerned as he looked over Vernon in his current state.

“How are you feeling?”

Vernon gave a slight squeeze of his hand in response. The effort to raise his head and look straight at Wonwoo felt like too much and as much as he’d like to voice his discomfort, his parched throat stopped him from uttering any further sounds.

Wonwoo squeezed his hand in return, understanding. “Mingyu will be back in a minute, okay? They informed your parents but the earliest they can get here is three more days.” He said, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose with his hand as he leaned into Vernon’s side. The warmth was comforting and Vernon allowed himself to relax muscles which he hadn’t realized tensed before.

The two sat in companionable silence, although one was deathly with worry, he allowed himself to relax slightly now that he knew younger brother would be okay.

“You’re awake!”

Vernon winced at the loud volume as Mingyu crossed the threshold grinning, holding out the water. 

“Minyu,” Wonwoo admonished, shaking his head as the former’s smile slipped slightly seeing Vernon struggling to sit up.

“Here, let me.” Wonwoo pressed something under the bed and Vernon felt vibrations beneath him before his upper buddy started tilting upwards. He knew what was happening but could not stop a small sound of surprise escaping his mouth, much to his throat’s protest.

“Yeah, maybe not talk just yet, you must feel like shit,” Wonwoo said, taking the glass from Mingyu and making sure Vernon’s grip around it was firm before stepping back. Vernon could only offer a weak smile in return before downing the whole thing in one gulp.

Now that Vernon was sitting up, he could see various things that he’d missed before in his initial survey of the room. His bed was vertically against the wall with machines placed on both sides. He winced and averted his gaze from the tubes leading up to his wrists and the bandages covering various parts of his body. He became aware that he was wearing a hospital gown, and that it was breezy, and the worried pair of eyes now giving him their full attention. 

“W-what happened,” He asked, testing out his voice as he placed the glass on his bedside. He winced at how rough it sounded.

Ceasing their anxious hovering, Wonwoo and Mingyu sat down in chairs on his left, Wonwoo slipping his hand into Vernon’s like before. “Well,” Wonwoo began hesitantly before turning to look at Mingyu.

“You were in an accident.”

Mingyu’s voice was so soft that he’d have almost missed it if his hearing wasn’t heightened by his growing anxiety. Vernon stilled.

“What happened.” His voice was almost a whisper as he watched the two. He was growing increasingly restless under the covers and the lack of answers.

“You don’t remember?” Mingyu’s voice wavered. He was picking up on Vernon’s uneasiness. They both were.

Wonwoo’s eyes flashed, too quick for Vernon to decipher the emotion they held. “We will all be talking about this later,” He said firmly, letting go of Vernon’s hand as he stood up. “You need to rest.” He addressed Vernon directly. “And you,” He turned to Mingyu. “You need to go get the doctor now that he's awake.” He jerked his head in Vernon;s direction.

“But, I’m fine,” Vernon protested, ignoring the way his arms screamed as he tried to lift himself off of the bed.

“You,” Wonwoo had an air of finality about him. “Are not fine. At all. Now get back to bed and rest like a good little patient or the next injury you get won’t be from some machine.”

Vernon was stunned. It wasn’t so much the sternness in Wonwoo’s voice. It was the thinly veiled threat that was so uncharacteristic of the gentle older man that made Vernon actually stop in his tracks in shock. He actually took a moment to study his hyung’s face, noticing the worry lines on his face and the bags under his eyes for the first time since his return to consciousness. The hunch in his shoulders and the way his clothes were hanging a little too loosely from his frame didn’t escape his notice either. Wonwoo didn’t just look tired, he looked exhausted. 

“Please.” The slight strain in Wonwoo’s voice had Vernon pausing in his actions. He chanced a look up and wished he never had. There was a gleam in eyes, barely detectable but there as Wonwoo’s face pleaded with him. Vernon’s heart broke in two. Since when did hyung cry?

Wonwoo hyung never cried.

He got back into bed obediently, pulling his covers over him, unwilling to meet Wonwoo’s eyes.

“Mingyu, stay here. I’ll go fetch the doctor.” Wonwoo sounded resigned yet Vernon refused to raise his eyes from the white of the covers. Mingyu nodded, not knowing what had just transpired between them but knowing it was of significance.

That didn’t stop Mingyu from embracing Wonwoo in a tight hug. Vernon pretended not to hear the muted sobs that came from the direction of the couple as Mingyu whispered soothing words into his boyfriend’s ear, rubbing circles in his back.

Vernon pretended not to see Wonwoo step back from Mingyu, rubbing his eyes and glancing discreetly in his direction, as if he was worried about crying in Vernin’s presence.

Vernon did not at all see the encouraging kiss Mingyu pressed into Wonwoo’s temple before Wonwoo left. Vernon did not see the uncertain glance the two shared before Mingyu settled down at Vernon’s side.

Vernon only saw the raindrops trailing down the glass of the window on the opposite side of the room. Vernon only heard the sound of the raindrops pounding against the concrete below, drowning out the pounding of his own heart as his mind wandered to thoughts of another, unspoken questions whirling in his mind.

He didn’t remember much. He’d been truthful about that. But he couldn’t help the ominous feeling that came over him every time he opened his mouth to ask the questions that plagued him.

Although he’d rather not admit it, if asked he’d likely reply with the same.

He dreaded the answers.

They were on the couch.

HIs head was on someone’s lap, his hair being caressed by the person above. He felt drowsy but that feeling was soon changed as there was an unexpected tug on his hair.

Vernon yelped in pain and shot up, glaring at the offender now trying and failing to suppress his mischievous grin.

“I’m so going to get you for that,” were the last words that came out of Vernon’s mouth before he launched himself at the boy across him. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, no-,” The boy barely managed out from beneath him through barely contained giggles as they rolled onto the floor. “No, Vernon!-” He gasped for breath, tears and laughter now uncontrollable, as Vernon mercilessly carried out the tickle attack.

“I… hate...you,” The boy managed out as he finally wriggled out from under him, propping himself up on the couch before glaring at Vernon, now grinning from ear-to-ear.

“You almost pulled out my hair, I think we all know who’s supposed to hate the other in these situations,” Vernon protested, dragging himself to sit beside Seungkwan on the floor.

“You’re lucky we’re engaged or else...” Seungkwan huffed, turning away as Vernon rested his head on Seungkwan’s shoulder.

“Or what?” Vernon nuzzled Seungkwan’s neck, basking in the closeness of his fiance. 

“Or I would have obviously attacked you back.” Suengkwan rolled his eyes but his voice had obtained a teasing lilt to it.

“And how would you do that?” Vernon asked quietly, his voice almost a whisper near Seungkwan’s ear.

Vernon wasn’t given time to get ready as he suddenly found himself face-to-face with his fiance. His breath hitched as he scanned his eyes over the slightly flushed face and the still quick breathing from the exertion earlier. He admired how Seungkwan eyes twinkled, bright as their foreheads met in the middle.

Vernon closed his eyes willingly, waiting. 

“Kisses. Always kisses.”

“You promise?”

“I promise.”

Voices filled the room as Vernon came back to. His eyes were slightly crusted over but his throat didn’t feel as bad as before which he was grateful for. As his vision cleared, he could make out three other people in the room.

“His external injuries seem to be healing well. He seems to be well on his way to recovery. However, we may have to run some tests to check on his internal organs since he had quite a lot of internal injuries when he was brought in. The spells of unconsciousness should be frequent for a while and we’ll be keeping him under observation till it’s sure he doesn’t randomly pass out every 10 minutes.”

Vernon made out one of the people in the room as a doctor. He had a white coat on, his back turned to him while two people huddled close to one another, listening intently and nodding. One of them caught sight of Vernon’s open eyes and his own eyes widened. He tapped the hand of the other man that was on his shoulder, drawing both his and the doctor’s attention to the now awake patient.

“Vernon! How are you feeling?”

Vernon had to clear his throat and look away. He felt his insides swirling uncomfortably as he processed the extraordinary level of concern and worry that filled their expressions as they had scurried over to him. 

“Vernon.” 

Vernon forced himself to meet the eyes of the one who had spoken his name. He took in the quiver in his voice and the tears in his eyes before wordlessly raising his arms. Seungcheol didn’t hesitate one bit as he locked Vernon in a tight but gentle embrace and Vernon pretended not to feel the tears leaking into his nightgown as he rubbed the other’s back comfortingly. 

His eyes met Jeonghan’s over Seungcheol’s shoulder. He was taken aback by the anger he saw within the elder but dismissed it, focusing his attention on Seungcheol who still hadn’t let go of him.

“Hyung…” He murmured softly. “I’m okay.”

Seungcheol immediately let go of him. Vernon’s eyes followed Jeonghan as he flounced to the chair furthest from his bed and sat, arms and legs crossed looking anywhere but in their direction.

Seungcheol didn’t say a thing as he rubbed furiously at his eyes, as if to hide all traces of tears on his face. The eldest had always prided himself on being the f self proclaimed father on their group ever since they’d met at university. Vernon’s heart felt a sharp pang watching him cry now.

He felt guilty. Seungcheol had never cried before. He could hardly recall a time that their hyung had been brought down to tears. Even in the most trying of times, he kept up his stoic appearance, the voice of final decision and responsibility.

Seungcheol had been taking care of them for so long Vernon couldn’t even begin to think he needed taking care of. How many things had he kept within, had he not told the others he was feeling. Always so willing to help the others, whether it be feelings, grades or problems at home, Vernon suddenly felt the strong urge to take care of Seungcheol as well.

It was only right after all he’d done for them.

But the moment had gone as soon as it had arrived. Seungcheol was back to being the Seungcheol Vernon knew. 

“What were you thinking, going to the beach in weather like that?”

Vernon winced at the volume of the reprimand. He looked to Jeonghan but the long-haired man was still steadfastly ignoring him. Vernon felt tears well in eyes.

“What- what do you mean?” He whispered, unable to stop the tears from escaping down his cheek. Seungcheol’s stern face slipped at the other’s emotional response. Seungcheol was usually blessed with remarkable foresight but this had been the last thing on his list.

He stepped forward. “Do you,” Seungcheol’s voice cracked and he swallowed before gathering himself once again. He couldn’t bear to look back at Jeonghan, knowing all too well the pain that would be expressed on the other’s face.

“Do you not remember that day?”

Vernon looked up, his eyes shining and vulnerable. “Remember what?” He asked, his voice raw and open.

Seungcheol had to take in a deep breath. He looked to Jeonghan for help but now the other was actually looking at Vernon, an unreadable expression on his face.

There was a pause. A short pause with bated breath where Vernon gazed tearfully at Seungcheol, Seungcheol looking to Jeonghan for comfort and Jeonghan looking at Vernon.

“What’s the last thing you remember?” He said finally, measuring out his breath and spelling out the words carefully. He saw Jeonghan finally sit up in his seat through his peripheral as he focused on Vernon.

Vernon’s face scrunched up as he tried to remember from before he’d woken up.

“I know I know you,” He said. “I know you’re Seungcheol,” Vernon pointed at Seungcheol, “And you’re Jeonghan,” He pointed another finger in Jeonghan’s direction.

“I know Mingyu and Wonwoo,” Vernon looked down, fiddling with his hands. “They were the couple who were here when I woke up.”

Seungcheol slowly let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. The doctor had mentioned some issues may take place with memory due to the nature of his head injuries but he seemed to remember them. His fears were set at ease with Vernon’s next words:

“Most of my memories are okay,” Vernon clarified, before reverting to his scrunched state. “Atleast,” He added. “I think.”

Jeonghan stood and he inched closer to the bed. 

“What else?” He asked, his voice soft as he addressed Vernon directly. Vernon couldn’t hold back the slight surprise that showed in his face before he continued. 

“I remember Jihoon hyung. We made music together.” Jeonghan nodded encouragingly, moving closer.

“I remember Junhui and Minghao. The day they got together.” A smile graced the face of all three in the room at that memory. 

“I remember Soonyoung and Seokmin. I regret suggesting going karaoking with them.” A grimace came up as quickly as the smile slipped on their faces. 

“My ears are ringing to this day,” Jeonghan commented drily, a small smile on his face. Vernon smiled back and Seungcheol felt hope properly for what felt like the first time in eight months.

“What more,” Seungcheol insisted, taking hold of Jeonghan’s hand, pulling him forward to stand right beside Vernon’s bedside. He was too focused on Vernon to react as Jeonghan shot back to the far side of the room and retrieved the chairs, impatiently tugging Seungcheol into the sitting position beside him.

Vernon grinned widely at the two settling down beside him and Seungcheol felt like his heart might burst. A slight squeeze in his hand let him know Jeonghan felt the same. It had been eight months since they had seen that gummy smile.

“Dino,” He said immediately. “Your baby,” He said at the same time Jeonghan said “My baby.”

Seungcheol blinked once and the room dissolved into peals of laughter. When they somewhat calmed down, another look at each other’s faces sent them into stitches once again.

“Why-why is this so funny,” Vernon managed, between gasps and tears of joy streaming down in his face as he clutched his side. Seungcheol only stopped laughing long enough to very seriously tell him, “It isn’t.”

It only set them all off once more.

“What’s going on?”

The room was suddenly silenced as the sounds of mirth was cut off by the arrival of a new voice.

Hong Jisoo had arrived and came bearing candy.

Argh!”

Seungkwan waited for his computer to reboot for the enith time as he despaired over the two thousand word essay he had due in about eight hours. In hindsight, he knew he should’ve gotten started on it earlier, even using the university computers but he’d been so caught up in the whirlwind that had been his musical that he’d completely forgotten the music theory essay he had due.

And now his stupidity had led him here, his room at two in the morning as he desperately waited for pages to load up. Since the essay could be either typed or handwritten, Seungkwan didn’t have a problem handwriting it even if it meant his hand ended up cramping. However, he did need some research to base his essay on and he’d left his phone at the gym earlier. 

Now it was too late and he was stuck with an increasingly dysfunctional laptop.

The cherry on the cake was the banging that was coming from the front door of his apartment. It only added to the pounding in his head but he knew if he didn’t go deal with it right now, Jihoon’s bitchiness would be three times worse than any oncoming headache and last twice as long.

He trudged out of his room and threw open the door.

“What!” He yelled annoyed, only for surprise to take over his face as he registered Vernon at his doorstep.

“Vernon?”

His voice sounded horrible. Seungkwan was suddenly aware of the state of undress he was currently in. His hair was a mess, his shirt and pyjamas with old coffee stains on them. 

“I was hungry and you weren’t answering any of my texts,” Vernon announced, pushing past Seungkwan’s pathetic attempt to shut the door on his face. He set down a bag on the living room table, turning around triumphantly. “I got chicken!”

Seungkwan didn’t know what came over him. Whether it was the stress of managing the musical, the fact that he’d fail music theory, he’d left his phone behind and couldn’t do a thing, that his fitness journey had hit a plateau or just his boyfriend just barging into his apartment in the middle of the night knowing Seungkwan could get in trouble with his roommate. Seungkwan just lost it.

“Why are you here? You shouldn’t be here.” Seungkwan’s voice was cold as he stared at Vernon. The voice wasn’t his, it was like he was watching his body hurt the one person he loved. But he couldn’t stop the words spilling from his mouth. Vernon’s smile fell.

“I thought some chicken would cheer you up,” Vernon protested weakly, holding up the bag he’d brought. 

“Well, it won’t.” Seungkwan’s voice grew increasingly cold with each word spoken. He didn’t have time for this, he had to get a good grade on this paper. He had to.

Vernon’s face fell and if Seungkwan had felt guilty before, that guilt was amplified by what his boyfriend said next. Vernon set down the chicken he’d bought, moved across the room and pressed a light kiss to Seungkwan’s lips.

“You do you babe,” He said, his eyes holding such resolute faith in them that Seungkwan almost melted. Seungkwan wrapped his hands around his boyfriend’s waist, pulling him close and breathing him in, allowing himself to relax for a bit.

“Just promise me one thing.”

Seungkwan tensed once more. He nodded, not trusting himself to speak.

“We go out the moment you finish this.”

Seungkwan relaxed once more.

“I promise.”

Seungkwan sat back and rubbed his eyes, glancing at the clock. He’d finished writing his essay, giving up on his useless computer and choosing to handwrite it instead. It was six in the morning but he’d finally finished and managed to send it to his professor in time. He was tired and his hand was cramping but he still peeled himself away from his desk to go tell Vernon, who had resolutely parked himself on their couch, refusing to withdraw his ‘moral support’ (and sleep) till Seungkwan had officially finished.

“Go out with me.”

Seungkwan blinked. He’d thought Vernon had dozed off but apparently not.

“I’m already going out with you dumbass.” Vernon rolled his eyes. “Not like that, I meant come outside with me.”

Seungkwan was tired and a mess. The last thing he wanted was to change out of his pajamas and step outside.

“It’s freaking six in the morning. Absolutely not.” Seungkwan burrowed into his boyfriend’s side, enjoying the warmth of his hoodie. “Please,” Vernon whined.

Seungkwan got up, but only briefly to glare at him. “I’m tired and a mess and I am not going to change.”

“I’m not asking you to, let’s just go.”

Seungkwan sat up. “You’re not going to let this go, are you?” He glared.

Vernon grinned, victorious. “Nope.”

They were on the rooftop and frankly, whatever love Seungkwan ever felt for his boyfriend was as black and shrivelled as he soon would be.

“Oh, would you stop being such a drama queen?” Vernon rolled his eyes, but wrapped his arms around him as well.

“I’d like to see you power write an eighteen page essay and sleepwalk through the night.”

“It's only for today, I swear,” Vernon pouted. Seungkwan melted under his gaze.

“What are we doing here anyway?” He asked, settling down and letting his legs hand through the gaps in the safety rail.

“Sunrise,” Vernon supplied helpfully. “With hot chocolate and chicken!”

Forget what he said about their love being black and shrivelled. Seungkwan actually did love his boyfriend and his endlessly weird food combinations.

“You little shit,” He said, helping himself to a piece of chicken.

“We’re the same age,” Vernon complained. “You don’t act like it,” Seungkwan countered. 

“I regret getting you the hot chocolate,” Vernon muttered. 

“But you love me.”

“Unfortunately.”

They sat in silence for a while, occasional sounds of chewing and sipping as they watched the lightening horizon. Even though Seungkwan wasn’t much of an early riser to start with, he appreciated the different kind of beauty sunrises held. 

Also, major respect for morning people.

“Seungkwan?”

Seungkwan was snapped out of his thoughts. Vernon wasn’t beside him anymore. When had he gotten up? How had he not noticed?

“Will you marry me?”

“He was pronounced dead on arrival.”

Joshua wouldn’t meet his eyes as he sat on his bedside. Seungcheol and Jeonghan had left earlier to let them catch up and presumably report to the others. The ward also had a two visitor limit that the nurses insisted must be followed at all costs. 

“Oh.”

There were so many things he could have said instead. This was Seungkwan they were talking about. Seungkwan.

He’d teared up and Joshua was hugging him.

“Hey, shh, we’re here for you,” Joshua said softly, rubbing circles into his back. Vernon only cried harder as Joshua continued to comfort him.

They stayed like that until a nurse found them, half an hour later, and shooed Joshua out for upsetting the patient. Vernon could only watch.

It hurt too much to speak.

“Hey, I’m Seungkwan! Could I sit here?”

Vernon looked up from his desk, way too sleepy and full of regrets for an 8 am university class.

“Hi, I’m Vernon, and sure.”

Vernon was discharged a few hours later.

Joshua had been informed beforehand and he made sure to inform all their other friends to be here on time. And so, Vernon walked out, friends on each side cracking jokes and trying to lighten the atmosphere.

It was like old times except not like old times. This time there was something hanging over their heads that hadn’t been there before. Vernon was quiet. He’d always been quiet but this thing amplified the quietness.

This thing that lessened the multitude of jokes made. This thing that turned their friend group from odd to even. This thing that left a gaping hole in all their hearts and Vernon felt he was being eaten alive.

“Can I see?”

His own voice felt foreign to his ears, even after talking to people after waking up. It was the first time he had talked after Joshua broke the news however.

Quiet settled over the group as they turned to him. Vernon was too tired to take in each and every one of their concerned gazes. He focused on Seungcheol instead.

“Can I?” He repeated.

Seungcheol met his gaze steadily. “Sure,” He agreed.

They were at a graveyard.

Vernon almost tripped at the entrance. He’d known it was real, it had to be real if so many people told him and believed it.

But it had never felt real.

It felt real now. As Seungcheol led him further into the graveyard, it felt all too real.

Vernon hadn’t realized they’d stopped before he bumped into Seungcheol ahead of him. The older looked down at him sympathetically.

“Are you sure?” He asked softly.

“I want to see him,” Vernon affirmed, resolutely avoiding eye contact, looking instead at the grass that surrounded the freshly turned soil beside his sneakers. It was wet from morning dew and neatly trimmed, he noted. It was also green. Very much a healthy green and alive.

He didn’t need to look up to know Seungcheol had inclined his head in silent agreement. He simply followed, the crunch of Seungcheol’s footsteps leading the way.

He collapsed at the grave.

**Author's Note:**

> the epilogue will be up soon!
> 
> this is v v unedited. i also apologise.. because... yeah...


End file.
